Ok, so this is not so much an F.A.Q. as it is a more detailed description and journey into the warped mind that makes up CreativeDistractions. The mere name alone can suggest many different things in many different ways, or as I like to look at it as , creativity at it's best...oh wait, that's not right, how about a guy who came up with this brilliant idea for a name while sitting on the pot. That works.

Ok, so without further ado, I give you my F.A.Q. or How I Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love Art...

1. Who/What is CreativeDistractions? - Well, without getting too long-winded, the name was conceived one evening while taking a constitutional and I mulled it about in my mind, it stuck and that was all she wrote. From there, I based all of my work on such a name. I invested a small amount of clams to get the domain for a couple of years, just to see if everything would take and so far, it has. Although I have about as much experience in website programming as a fish does with running the 1/4 mile, I do have some connections and when I get a chance to collaborate with them, I'll finally be able to scratch it off my list of things to do before I croak.

2. What are your tools of the trade? - First off, I wish it WAS a trade. My day job that pays the bills and my somewhat out of control spending sprees at various 3D sites, consists of sitting in front of a computer all day and drawing pretty pictures. Not too dissimiliar with what I do for DA, except for the fact that the work I do makes it easier for people to poop. Hey, someone has to do it right?

Second, my tools are simple and modest: A computer that, within the past year, have invested about $800 more than the purchase price of the original machine, which nowadays, doesn't even resemble the original, unless you want to count the really cool, shiny and black memory card reader. Let's face it, when you have dreams of rendering images without getting to old along the way, you have to always keep up with technology, which I'll get into later.

I digress, my apologies...

Poser 7 is now my friend. I used to hate it when it came out, even though I'd been a faithful Poser user since Poser 4 and I did invest the money to purchase upgrades, always hoping for the program to make things easier, but in my ignorance as an up in coming amateur, I realized that actually researching sites and forums dealing with technique, would meet with better results. In essence, I have been going to school for Poser for the past 10 years (wow, has it been that long?).

Adobe Photoshop CS3 has been and still is my best friend of all, even though I still have yet to master every freak'n command, let alone know what everything does, it's still hands down, the best program to use to make some of the crap I render, into better works of crap. Again, I am still in school with Photoshop as well, but I am advancing about as well as any other primate.

Sigh, and now we come to the final tool, my camera. I would mention what it is, but at this juncture, I am not sure how long I will keep it. I love taking pictures and over the past few years, I have had the opportunity to work with some amazing folks. My first real gig that beared bitter fruit was with Cruel Goddess Agony. To this day, my heart still goes pitter patter over her. She was such a delight to work with and with that, we collaborated quite often, of course, it helped that she was my pseudo g/f at the time. Unfortunately, after a few years of moving around and other crap going on in my meager life, we lost touch and here lately, I have been frantically trying to reach her so if any of you out there know of her whereabouts or know how to contact her, please let me know. I would appreciate it more than anything... in fact, if anyone comes forward with credible information and I verify it, I'll give you a free year's subscription to DA, no strings attached. How's that for a reward!

Anywho, I digress again...

Yes, my camera, I have one, let's just say that and leave it at that. I am in search of any models who need some exposure so if anyone is interested, send me a note. I don't have any money to offer, so look at it as a mutual agreement to help each other out. I don't do nudes (unless you insist), I am a straight-up guy, have had my shots and doesn't bite (hard).

3. Your work seems a little "odd"...what posesses you to do such work? - I'll freely admit that my warped mind combined with my genius of an imagination, comes up with some pretty "odd" things, as you like to call them. I have yet to find anyone who thinks it's downright nasty and perverse (mainly because if you are a member here or even a lurker, you HAVE to have some sort of perversity in ya). I take elements from my own experiences and project them into my work. There are aspects of me that frighten some, make others downright nauseated and for a select few, love me forever. It's no secret neither is it new, the things I show off in my work. Experts would classify these aspects and elements as fetishes and while I am no expert, I would have to agree (of course, with my attorney's consent). Again, I am here for me, so if you don't like what you see, there is a cool concept of a button on your browser called BACK.

4. You seem like a really nice guy but I am seeing someone, sorry. - Gee, there's a surprise. How many times I have heard that, it's like a broken record. Of course you are seeing someone. Of course you are married. Did my flirtations REALLy come off that strong that you felt the need to make that known to me? I believe I mentioned in Q. #3 that I am here for me, not you. A little internet romance won't hurt no one, but do you honestly expect me to drive to the middle of knowhere to meet you, snog you, date you, fall in love and marry you? Sorry ladies, I am taken by few and those who have me, I treasure just as much. I really hate the fact that DA is becoming MySpace V2.0, but hey, I don't own the place, I just rent the space and I'll stay as long as DA will have me, which is longer than any of the other relationships I've had in the past.

5. You think you could do some work for me? - Folks, most of the time, I have no frick'n clue what I'M doing half the time. Everything that I post here comes from sporadic and unplanned sex...I mean, thoughts. I can go for days, even weeks without any hint of inspiration then all of a sudden, as if to have blown my load all over the screen, I get a vision. The sky opens up, angels fall from the sky and continually beat me with hammers. While I wouldn't mind the occasional custom work to do, I cannot find the time to consistantly start and finish a piece. I have a lot of other things going on that it's just not in the cards right now. The same holds true with my photography, so for now, just sit back and enjoy the show, ok?

6. Is any of your work for sale? - Holy crap if I had a nickel for every time I heard that, I'd have enough to buy a gumball from the machine. Actually, I tried the print account thing here and it was the best $25 I ever wasted. I didn't sell one damned print and all the effort I put in to make 16x20 300dpi images took about 5 years off my life. Truthfully, I'd love to get back into attempting to peddle my wares somewhere, just not here so if anyone out there knows of good alternative places, let me know. Oh yeah, there is supposedly a poll feature here, but I'll be damned how it works. Notice how I avoided a cheap phallic joke just then.

7. What are your plans for the future? - Jesus, if I had that on my mind all the time, I'd be insane or dead or both. I don't know what's going to happen from one day to the next, so let's just play it by ear, shall we? Sure, I have aspirations for becoming the next Eric Kroll, but that ain't in the cards (refer to Q #5). My digital art can go for as long as I can stand it. Everything else is gravy...

8. Can I use your work for my own personal use? Sure, and if you get famous, you can deal with my attorney if I don't see a royalty check come in. I have connections with some influential people who shaped our society and I've had extensive conversations about how they got screwed over one way or another, so to answer your question honestly: NO.

7. Why don't you do more normal images? - Ok, first of all, define normal? Secondly, why on earth would I want to do normal images, or anything normal for that matter. You can sum me up in one sentence: Too weird to live and too rare to die. How can we keep our lives interesting if we do everything normal? I consider myself a graduate with a Masters in People Watching and I like to sit back and observe people around me. Most of the time, I laugh because of all the normal things they do. As a matter of fact, I laughed my ass off the other day because I saw my neighbor (which I should add is pretty good looking) and her b/f, Mr. Aqua Velva came back home, and in their hands were little cups of frozen yogurt. Now, this woman has the pontential of being Ms. Sex Kitten of the Universe and she's going out with a guy that could bore the socks off anyone to get frozen yogurt? If I were him, I'd be banging that each and every night til she was passed out! Ok, so I exaggerate a little, it would be every hour, but agian, I digress...

Normal is NOT normal for me. Look at my work and just face facts, I'm not changing for anyone. The work I do is what I do and I enjoy it. Sometimes if it comes out just right, I light a splif, shake hands with the man and go to sleep, and then sometimes I want to put my hand through my highly expensive LCD monitor.

I guess I will leave this as it is for now. It may expand in the future, but at least all of you out there can get a better understand as to how I tick.

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It should be noted that this F.A.Q. was not my original idea. Another deviant wrote one up and after reading hers, it made sense to have one here, although her's is much bigger and more detailed, perhaps in the future, mine can take better shape.
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